The Day I Grew Motivated to Finish My Book

    Had I not been the person I am today, I wouldn’t have this perspective.  

    I find it amusing how people rely on everything the internet shows them only when it’s convenient to them. An inconvenient truth serves as grounds for ignorance. 

    I have to admit I am not capable of forming a connection with anyone out here. Not one person. If it’s a simpleton, I’m too poor— if it’s a poor person, I’m a snitch..or I just don’t want to listen to them. 

    I’m worried about my time as if it’s limited right now, that's the illusion the department of corrections maintains for the people it works for. It definitely worked for me. The random bouts of PTSD are there when I realize I don’t have to go back, I quickly think about my next move when the time calls for playing the tape through, and I can’t stand the sight of someone who wants to take advantage of me. 

    It’s really sad how I can’t even go out and form the most basic connection with someone without someone fucking it all up for me. I’m ashamed of my past. I can’t get over it. It’s what motivates me to continue writing the book I’m working on. It’s what’s going to help people understand the difference between our culture and any other countries culture. 

    The most difficult part is already complete. I just need to add a few tid bits here and there. 

    The next part of my book has to do with 2021-2023. 

    Before I get to 2024, I need to make sure I cover all those bases.  

    From Living in My Car, to attending school full time while living on the street, to living in a hostel with 15 people to one bathroom, to rehabilitating myself two times, there was always an obstacle impeding my objective. 

    I can’t wait to speak about it. 

    I just need to keep chipping away at it.