Finally Working

 Good news...I finally found a job.  It fits my schedule just perfectly. I have enough time for myself to get everything done in the morning. I even have the motivation to hit up a local bar during happy hour. Moving to New York was the toughest decision I ever made for myself but I'm glad I made it. 

It has taken a lot of work for me to make it this far.  Lot of trial and error. Now all I need to do is maintain my job, earn a couple a pay stubs, and maintain contact with my case managers all throughout the process so I could get rebudgetted for another housing voucher. 

(The first housing voucher I attained was from paystubs earned through The Doe Fund.  Its a training program, though, not a real job-- and that's one of the main reasons why I quit.  I didn't really believe they would find me a job because at the end of the day, we are the ones responsible for attending job interviews and making the impression.) 

It took a lot of work for me to get hired.  All those little tidbits of advice we learn through workshops really do help. Had I not implemented some of the things I learned, I don't think I would've stood out from the many applicants who reached out. 

The goal isn't just to save money, it's to get an apartment. 

What kind of man do I need to be to ensure I am ready to keep a job such as the one I currently hold? 

I'd talk about what I am doing, it's just that there's no need to. Let's just say, I am part of a production bakery and it's my responsibility to be an all around guy. 

Anything they need me for, I am there.  Cause they gave me a shot and I’m willing to learn more about the business each and everyday.  

I started out with a dollar. 

I have a decent paycheck coming in, and Im loving the job right now because it keeps me away from the shelter. 

All I need to do is stop smoking.  

Work helps me cope with that too. 

Isn't it crazy how we're already a month into the year? 

We're off to a good start, let's see how far I get. 

If I could find an apartment around my job, I'd be real happy. I would hate to move farther out than I already am-- things are looking pretty sweet right now.  All I need to do, when I get paid, is stick to a budget and steer clear of the distractions.  

Before I go, I just want to tell a story about why I'm never going to use the N word ever again. 

The other day, on my way to work, I was having a cigarette before getting onto the subway.  As I took my first few drags, I am thinking about going into McDonalds after finishing my cigarette so I could buy breakfast...only...I am debating whether I should wait till I get to work.

My thought is quickly interrupted by a pair, 

"Excuse me, bro, can I use your lighter real quick." 

I look at the pair, and they're a couple of black kids who barely look like they're even old enough to smoke...and I just shut them down completely, I nodded my head, "No," and then muttered to myself, 

"Naw, nigga, what the fuck?" 

I should've completed my ad lib with, "Are you even old enough?" 

But the kid, he was with his girlfriend, and he hears what I say, and he's like, 

"WAIT? WHAT? DID YOU JUST CALL ME THE N WORD? I'LL SLAP THAT CIGARETTE OUT YOUR HAND. ALRIGHT.  PUSSY.  WHY DON'T YOU--"

I start to walk away because I didn't think there was anything I could do to make the situation better. He was broadcasting what I had said to the entire world and I felt like complete shit because I didn't mean it that way.  

Even if I had the lighter in the first place, I wouldn't have given it to them but...

The kid keeps chasing after me, right? He's like, "You wanna use the N word on me again?" 

And so I decide to turn around, and I go, 

"My bad. My bad, bro. I am not from here." 

Genuine response. 

The kid, he looks at me and he acts as if he's going to pull something out of his jackets pocket before he tells me, 

"Yo, walk away before I clap your ass." 

I don't even know what that meant, I wasn't fucking around to find out.  I did everything possible to defuse the situation.  

It was one of those moments where trouble easily found me and where I could've been seriously hurt moments before work.  I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it whether I defended myself or not because I feel the kid was in the right for having stood up for himself like that.  

Regardless of what the intended impact of my using the word was, I was wrong for using it and I am never going to use it again because it's not classy and it's uneducated. 

I know better.  

I almost got shot for unintentionally using that word.  Well...I don't know for sure if the kid had a gun....again, I wasn't willing to find out.  

It is certainly one of the biggest lessons learned this year and I’m hoping to continue growing from it.